15 Incredible Things About Having Kids
Everyone only talks about the bad parts
The other day someone pointed out to me that people only talk about the shitty parts of having kids. And to be clear there are some TERRIBLE, hard parts of having kids.
But my experience has been that it's worth it 100x over.
Here are 15 incredible things about having kids:
1. Heart exploding love
The only way I could even begin to express the intensity of the love I have for my kids would be to write poetry or sing about it. Or to tell you it's just like taking MDMA, and you're not depressed for a week after.
And this is multiple times per day.
2. Your life has greater meaning to you
I spent a lot of time in my 20s feeling down about the meaninglessness of life. I'd think, "what's the point of trying?"
No more. Not a single nihilistic thought.
These little creatures depend on me, and that gives me a greater purpose than anything I've experienced up to this point.
3. You become a much better version of yourself
Everything about my way of being and living my life will shape them in some way for the rest of their lives.
My son will learn how to treat women.
My daughter will learn what to expect from men.
They’ll learn how to treat their bodies. How to treat others.
This doesn't feel like pressure to me.
It feels like an inevitability that my knowledge of this transforms me into a more present, caring, courageous, blah blah other virtues version of myself.
4. They have the power to heal families
Our kids are helping us let go of bitterness and unresolved tension and to connect more with our extended families. Now we all have something pure in common. Our love for these innocent little ones.
5. People are way nicer to you
People used to ignore me on the street. Now they smile, giggle, and go out of their way to be helpful when I have kids in tow.
6. They demand you to be more playful
And that makes life better.
7. They muffle voices of insecurity
When I'm with my kids I'm more confident and less concerned about what others think of me.
It's probably because I think being a great dad is the coolest thing on the planet.
Or maybe it's like I'm showing up to the party with the most popular kid in school.
8. They get you outside more.
And that makes life better.
9. There are endless moments where there's nowhere else you'd rather be
No world travel or peak life experience could pull me away from my 1 y/o wrapping her whole hand around my index finger, jibber jabbering up a storm, running and begging me to push her around in her little car.
This one inspired by Paul Graham’s essay, Having Kids.
10. They remind me often of the most important thing I've ever learned
"We are all one." I look into their eyes and know that we are the same thing in different bodies.
11. Deep belly laughs on the regular
My son getting into his drawer and putting butt paste on every inch of his face.
Or getting his first boner and saying "Mama! It's so heavy!"
Endless laughter.
12. Seeing your partner as a divine being
Life is created inside of her man!!!! And to create it she sacrifices her time, energy and body. Then she withstands the greatest physical pain known to man - childbirth. This has led to me having a deep reverence for my wife and everything she does for our family. I've become more attentive, loving, and generous w/ her because of this (which isn't to say I shouldn't have before). And when the conditions are right I'm moved to tears by gratitude. Seems like a pretty good thing for our relationship.
13. They become the most compelling reason to do things that are good for you
For me things like:
Stop working at 4
Taking great care of my body so I can play with them, their kids, and their kids' kids one day.
Stave off phone addiction
All things that I want to do anyway but often didn't have enough motivation for before.
14. They're little guru roomates
My son can see me make the subtlest expression 20ft across a room and say, "Baba, why are you angry?"
He notices it before I do.
It cues me to take a breathe, communicate what I'm feeling if necessary, and let it go, getting me back into the present moment.
15. They get you out of your own head
They demand your attention, leaving less room for you to ruminate and worry over things.
Disclaimer: I know this isn't everyone's experience.
But it is mine. Having kids, even when it's been hard, has been a profoundly positive experience for me.
It was a joy for me to sit and think about some of the reasons why that’s the case.
Love this Michael !!!