Exhale #30: Imaginal discs and SoulCraft
A caterpillar is born with something called Imaginal discs full of cells that carry in them the instructions for making a butterfly.
When it goes into the chrysalis, the cocoon, the caterpillar’s body completely breaks down. Then the imaginal discs link up and build a butterfly from the broken down material of the caterpillar.
In his book, SoulCraft, Bill Plotkin likens these imaginal cells in a caterpillar to the soul, the essence of who we are, in human beings. Humans that haven't discovered their true nature yet.
He is suggesting that somewhere deep inside of us is the blueprint for making a transcendent version of us.
The pure, unadulterated us unconfined by conditioning, shoulds or should nots. The butterfly us that we can't even possibly imagine with our caterpillar perspective.
The caterpillar's body thinks these imaginal cells are foreign and tries to destroy them. Just like we fight and resist changing.
Our caterpillar selves reject our true essence because it may cause us to abandon our old identities.
The key difference between their transformation and ours is that although they fight it, they don't have a choice. Their bodies just completely break down which becomes the material needed to build the butterfly.
We have to choose to change. We have to choose to let go.
In order for us to transform into something new, we have to let ourselves break down.Â
We have to let go of our old identities, our old ways of doing things, sometimes our old jobs and even partners.Â
We do not like that shit.
I believe we may go through many of these transformations in our lives.Â
I've been in many cocoons.
Going through rehab and resisting letting go of my addict identity. On my 18th birthday I finally let go. I had no idea how free I would feel and how much peace of mind I would feel getting sober.
Having back surgery after being a highly competitive athlete. I let go after a couple months of feeling depressed about the prospect of never competing again. I had no idea the fun I'd have and the fulfillment I'd feel becoming a coach.
Having a son and giving up most of my free time. I let go after a few months of resisting changing anything about my life. I had no idea the amount of love I would feel or the strength I'd get from becoming a dad.
What has helped me in the past when I think I might be a caterpillar resisting his cocoon is to get as much space from the outside world as possible. This could look like a half a day alone in nature or a full weekend backpacking by myself.
Then I ask questions that help me see my own blindspots such as:
Where am I out of integrity in my life? Where is my behavior out of line with my values, or where have I failed to meet a promise that I made to myself or others (tiny or massive)?
If I could wave a magic wand what would x part of my life look like in 2 years? With questions like this I try to give myself permission to think without any concern for how I'll get there. It's just a thought exercise not goal setting.
What am I not giving enough attention to in my life right now?
Or the sentence stem given to me by a mentor of mine, Philip Mckernan,
My soul longs for…
My soul longs for more...
Right now I'm a butterfly. I'm resisting very little in my life, I have higher integrity with my word than ever in my life and I'm expressing myself more fully than ever.Â
I know that over time I will become a caterpillar and resist further transformation just like I have in the past.Â
My intention for myself in the future is to be more aware of this natural process and to move through it with more ease.Â
One Ask
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Peace,
Michael