Got Range?

Man Shit Himself in the Wilderness: A True Story

A few years ago I told my friend Andrew Drish that one of the things I loved about him was that I could have a super deep conversation, go to a Burning Man type event dressed up like someone from outer space, and then have some drinks and dance to ghetto rap music in a seedy bar with him all in one night. His wife, Libby, chimed in and said, "That's Range."

I love how much Range he has. After reflecting on this concept for years, I realized that what I love even more than his range was that around him, I get to let out my full Range too. Annie Lalla says, "We don't love our partners as much as we love who we get to be in their presence." 

I love who I get to be in Andy's presence.

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Disclaimer: The following story contains graphic, descriptive text about a young man shitting himself in the woods.

My last Soul Searching Adventure was in Escalante, UT. The first night we slept off of a dirt road on some Bureau of Land Management land. It was way colder than we expected the first night (~25 degrees). In the middle of the night, a fart woke me up. I quickly realized it was MY fart. Then, I realized that it wasn't just any old fart. Not one of those farts that you can just carelessly discard in your car. This was a risky—nay, a dangerous fart. You know exactly the kind of fart I'm talking about. This was the type of fart that, if my wife had been in the tent with me, it would have woken her up. She would have whisper-shouted at me, "Are you fucking serious!? You're disgusting! You need to leave the tent if you're going to do that." And I would have laughed uncontrollably. This was the type of fart that signals danger on the road ahead. Hot as steam it says, "you don't have much time. Act now."

How does one know that they’re about to have diarrhea? I don't know, but I knew.

Exasperated by having to get out of my tent in freezing cold weather to dig a hole 6 inches deep and 6 inches wide and then having to take my pants off so I could poop, I started to move. 

Then, it was like my butt had a mind of its own. You've felt this before. You have to go really badly but can't for a while. Then you're finally in range of the bathroom, and suddenly the intensity ramps up. This was one of those times. So much so that as I started crossing the little road we camped by, I started running. I wasn't going to make it. I started unzipping my pants. I ducked behind the nearest tree and let it go. 

Now diarrhea falls into two categories: Poop that has some liquid in it, and poop in straight liquid form. This was straight brown liquid coming out of my ass at, I checked my watch, 4:00am. In 25 degree weather. 

It was over in 10 seconds. 

Relieved, I dug a hole and pushed it all in with a nearby rock I found. An ancient method called the pitch-n-putt.

I made my way back to my tent, crawled into my sleeping bag and crashed again.

At 5:00am I awoke again. The fart was back. This time there was no doubt what it was trying to tell me. But I refused to get out of bed. It was too cold. So I waited. I was in pain, but I was warm for a little while longer. 

Around 5:45am I couldn’t hold it anymore. I made my way across the road again, and the close-to-the-toilet-intensity started to hit me. I resolved to take it slow and dig my hole first. Instead of running, I walked. Concentrating. I squatted down and started to dig. I was clenching and focused on breathing when a fart slipped out. And with it several tablespoons of the dark liquid poop. I said aloud, are you fucking kidding me!?

Then another pitch-n-putt...

Fortunately, I had an extra pair of underwear waiting for me and could promptly throw away the soiled ones.

All of the guys died laughing when I told them I was visited by the diarrhea fairy multiple times that night and had shit myself. Lacking creativity, they gave me the trail name Poopy.

Right out of the gate, these men who had never met were having a blast together, laughing like children at poop jokes.

Two hours later we were hiking through a river in 30-degree weather while it snowed on us.

Another two hours later we were writing about some of the most challenging experiences of our lives and sharing them with each other.

That's Range.

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When I first moved to Austin, I was having lots of deep and intellectual conversations but felt like my playfulness and crude sense of humor were stuffed away in a closet.

When I started meeting some of the guys who have become my closest friends, each one of them had a different characteristic that challenged the rest of the group. Some had more playfulness while others had more depth. Some are more intellectual while others are more physical. Together I think we've all helped each other bring out our full Range, and given each other permission to express it.

For a while, I thought this Range was unique to that group of friends, but that was wrong. Now I see that every single one of us has enormous depth and breadth, yearning to be expressed. Each of us has a Range of physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual capacities within us, dying to come out to play.

In under 24 hours, this group of guys from many different walks of life from all over the country were expressing their full range with each other. It's clear that this was not the case for many of them back home.

Sometimes we need to feel comfortable and safe enough to let certain parts out. As leaders, we set the example for what is acceptable and unacceptable in the group. We set the example for what type of behavior is cool.

So quite intentionally, I bring my full self to these trips. I'm unabashedly silly and playful. I'm deeply grounded and present when others share their pain, and I willingly share some of my own. I am firm and direct in the way I organize and push the group physically. I boldly reflect to them how they’re playing small or fooling themselves. I’m as tender and compassionate with them in some moments that I am with my own son.

I've got Range like a motherfucker, and when I let mine out I give others permission to do the same.

Surround yourself with people you can be fully yourself with. 

Celebrate when you discover a new or long-buried part of yourself through a certain relationship. 

Send this to someone in your life who has the Range you look for in a friend.

And if you don't have anyone like that, consider that instead of waiting for permission from others, you may have to go first.