Hey there, I’m experimenting with a different way of doing my emails. I hope you’ll tell me what you think!
A couple weeks ago I was in the car with my two-year-old son, Shai. I was trying to send someone a voice note while I drove (felt slightly safer than texting). I recorded about 10 seconds, stuttered, then deleted it. I did that two more times. Record. Mistake. Delete.
Shai said, "Baba what’re you doing?"
I recorded again. Mistake. Delete.
"Baba WHAT’RE you doing?" (I'm baba)
Record. Mistake. Delete.
"BABA WHAT’RE YOU DOING!?"
Now, one of my highest goals as a dad is to be a sanctuary for my children. To provide them with the safety to be themselves.
And the single most important thing you can do to create safety in relationships is to go first.
So I told him something I had been too embarrassed to tell anyone before.
I said, "Well honestly buddy, sometimes I'm afraid to make a mistake when I send people messages because I think people will think I'm stupid or something. So I just sit there redoing it until it doesn't have any mistakes."
Maybe if he sees that I can feel insecure and still talk about it, he'll come to me the first time he feels left out at school. Or when someone makes fun of him. Or when he feels embarrassed because someone pulled his pants down in gym class.
I knew he wouldn't completely understand what I was saying, but I decided to start walking the walk.
Ever the wise sage, Shai said, “Baba stop doing dat.”