An Overwhelming Pile of Evidence
Monkey do, monkey think
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I had dinner a year ago with a friend of mine, and we were talking about our character flaws. At one point I said, “It hasn’t always been this way, but I just realized that my default response now when I make a mistake or notice something I’m not proud of, is to have compassion for that part of myself.”
This friend was the most successful person I’ve ever known (in the common use of the word successful). So when he, who I’d expected to have the utmost self-regard, said, “Wowww,” it dawned on me what a rare thing it was that I had just shared.1
I used to be one of those hyper-critical people. I’d berate myself for mistakes and failures in a way that was all-consuming. Therapists pointed it out all the time.
The way I spoke to myself began to change when I changed the way I treated myself.
The old saying goes, “It’s easier to act your way into new thinking than to think your way into new action.”
I stopped saying yes to things out of pure obligation. I told people when they crossed a boundary of mine. I gave myself permission to play and write music, read fiction, and a number of other things for no other purpose than “because I want to.” I took great care of my body through exercise, diet and sleep. I asked for help more often. I increasingly worked on things that felt aligned with who I was and how I wanted to serve people. I stopped tolerating unresolved tension in relationships and in my body.
When you’ve been neglecting your need to rest, to play, or to speak your truth for a long time, there’s not much evidence to support your case that you love yourself.
So you have to collect an overwhelming amount of evidence that you do, in fact, love yourself.
And if Love can save Harry from Voldemort, and if it’s the source of all of the best poetry, music, and art, if it’s the synonym for God, then what higher aim is there in your life than to Love Your Self?
An invitation from a friend
My friend Metsa Nihue is taking a group to Peru for a traditional Dieta (IYKYK). The dates are March 17th to the 30th.
I spent 10 days w/ Metsa in June, and it was incredible. I had major personal breakthroughs and left with the greatest sense of inner peace and gratitude I’ve ever felt in my life. If you feel drawn to increasing your love for yourself and others and to deepen your spiritual connection, I can’t recommend this trip enough.
Here’s a link with more information.
My friend told me that he was brutally critical of himself and often thought of himself as a loser!!! This guy who couldn’t possibly be further from a loser. It’s a great reminder that achievements, money and status don’t, in and of themselves, change anything about how we feel about ourselves.